31 Questions to Help You Be a Better Parent
Answer these questions with honesty, humility, and dependence on God’s power.
Feeling passionate about parenting? If you’d genuinely like a shot in the arm for your parenting, perhaps these questions can get you started. But remember: Their effectiveness is proportionate to your level of honesty, humility, and most of all, dependence on God’s power to make His presence a reality in your children’s lives.
1. What are the most significant cravings of each of my kids’ hearts?
2. How am I doing at building a relational bridge with my children? Do I “have their hearts”? Do they feel connected with and encouraged by me? Do I feel connected with them?
3. When I’m honest, what top five values do I feel most compelled to instill in my children? Would those line up with the top five values God would want my children to have?
4. What are each of my children’s greatest strengths and greatest weaknesses?
5. Am I being faithful to pray diligently, deeply, and watchfully for my kids? (For a great FamilyLife resource on this, click here.)
6. Which child in our family is most likely to be overlooked, and why?
7. Which child tends to receive most of my attention? Why?
8. How do I believe other people see each of my children? How do I feel about that? What portion of others’ opinions could I learn from, and what should I set aside?
9. Are my children developing more into givers than takers?
10. What life skills would I like my children to develop this year?
11. What are the events on the timeline of my children’s lives that have the most impact?
12. In what ways have my children exceeded my expectations?
13. Do I have any expectations of my children that have become demands that I clutch out of fear, rather than hopes that I seek from God by faith?
14. In what ways do I feel disappointed by my children? What can I learn from this? (For example, about what is valuable to me, about how God has made my children, about loving as God loves, etc.) What should I do about this in the future?
15. What is my greatest area of weakness as a parent? My greatest strength? What are my spouse’s?
16. In what ways are my children totally unlike me?
17. What did my parents do particularly well? In what ways do I hope to be different? (Is there any forgiveness that needs to happen there?)
18. What events from my childhood are important for me to shield my own children from? Are there ways that this has led to excessive control?
19. In what areas are my children most vulnerable?
20. What do I love about my kids? About being a parent?
21. How well do my spouse and I work as a team in our parenting?
22. How am I doing on preparing my children to be “launched” as thriving servants for God in the real world?
23. What can I do to equip my children to love well? To be wise? For successful relationships?
24. How is my children’s understanding of the Bible? How would I describe each of their relationships and walks with God?
25. Who are the other influential people in my kids’ lives? As I think of my children’s friends, teachers, coaches, etc., how can I best pray that they will complement my parenting and my kids’ needs?
26. Am I replenishing myself and taking adequate rests, so that my children see the gospel work of grace, patience, and peace in my home?
27. What are each of my kids passionate about? How can I spur on and develop their God-given passions?
28. How am I doing on teaching them biblical conflict resolution? Am I teaching them to be true peace-makers … or peace-fakers, or peace-breakers?
29. How authentically do I speak with my kids? Am I building a bridge of trust and security through my honesty and openness with them?
30. Am I striking a good balance between protecting my kids and equipping them for whatever they may encounter when they step outside of my home, now and in the future?
31. What great memories have I recently made with my kids?
Copyright © 2015 by Janel Breitenstein. Used with permission.